Musings of a VC in NYC

Being Present

I've recently come back to yoga after a five year hiatus. I didn't realize how much my body missed it. I stopped doing yoga because I couldn't handle the mental aspect of the practice. I struggle with being present mentally for 90 minutes. In fact, I find it impossible. Even as I've come back to the practice, I look at the clock constantly, waiting for the class to end. I am working on this struggle because yoga makes me feel so much better and I am hoping I can come to terms with the mental aspect of the practice if I work at it.

I tell you this because being present is a struggle in everything I do and yet it is the most important thing you can do. Today is the 23rd anniversary of the day the Gotham Gal and I were married. And it is father's day. A pretty special day in our family. 

I got up early and took a long bike ride this morning and reflected on 23 years of marriage and almost 20 years of fatherhood. I thought about a time fifteen years ago when our kids were young and I was starting Flatiron Partners, the first venture firm I helped to start. I was working super hard and still had not made any money in the venture capital business after a decade in it. We had moved out of the city and were living in the suburbs. I was catching the early train and struggling to get home before the kids went to bed. The Gotham Gal had stopped working, was missing the city and feeling alone and overwhelmed.

Around that time, I attended an offsite of a larger private equity firm and there was a organizational psychologist who gave a talk on work life balance. He said something I'll never forget. He said that you have about ten to twelve years to connect with your kids and then they turn into teenagers, tune you out, then turn into adults and build their own lives. I thought about my kids who were five, three, and a baby and realized that time was short and I needed to be present in their lives in every way that I could. And I committed right there and then to do that. And I've done a pretty decent job of it. Not perfect by any means. But much better than my yoga practice.

Marriage is harder than parenthood. The Gotham Gal and I have been together for almost thirty years. I've heard every single one of her stories a dozen times. And she has heard mine too. Familiarity and comfort with each other is a double edged sword. We can finish each other's sentences but that also means the sentences sometimes aren't even uttered.

Being present in a relationship, whether it is with your kids, your spouse, or anyone important in your life is hard work, particularly for overstimulated type A personalities like me and many of the people who read this blog. 

Everyone is still sleeping in my house, but after I hit the publish button, I will be off the grid today and being present with my family on this special day.

Merry Christmas Everyone

I'm taking the day off from blogging. I'll be back tomorrow and for the next few days with my top music picks of 2009 and the decade. 

Tech/venture/startup posts should return early next week.

Merry christmas to everyone!

For those who want to know where the santa-ized avatar came from, I logged into Tumblr today and there it was. Thanks Tumblr team. I love it.

How To Get Me To Hang Up On You

The Gotham Gal told me a story this morning about picking up the phone yesterday and hearing an assistant say:

So and so is calling for you, please hold and I'll get him

I've experienced this kind of behavior over the years and I have to say that it is one of the most irritating things a person can do. I have and will hang up on the person when they show up on the line. I would not hang up on the assistant however.

This behavior basically says to the person being called that their time is not as important as the person placing the call. I really don't care if its Barack Obama calling, I don't think this kind of behavior is acceptable. It is plain and simply rude.

I can promise you that I would never ever consider having someone place my phone calls for me (unless I was handicapped and couldn't physically do it). And if you do it to me, don't be surprised to hear a dial tone when you show up on the call.

What Matters Now

 Seth Godin has published a free ebook called What Matters Now.

He describes the inspiration for the book in this blog post:

Now, more than ever, we need a different way of thinking, a useful way to focus and the energy to turn the game around.

The book features a single page each by around seventy "big thinkers" and I am very pleased and proud to be one of them.

Get the book, read it, share it, tweet it, talk about it.

Hopefully we'll do some of that in the comments here at AVC.

Save and Invest

Yesterday morning I attended the annual meeting of the NYC Partnership. The NYC Partnership is the "chamber of commerce" for NYC. Because NYC is one of the biggest commerce centers in the world, the NYC Partnership is a pretty interesting group and has lots of big name companies and execs involved in it.

The annual meeting yesterday featured talks by Lloyd Blankfein, Larry Summers, Mike Bloomberg, and Rupert Murdoch. I tweeted a bit from the meeting and you can see those tweets here (Dec 4th, 8:30am to 9:30am).

My favorite talk was Larry Summers' in which he addressed the administration's economic plans, priorities, and strategies.

At one point, Larry said that the US needs to "save, invest, and export more and the developing world needs to spend, borrow, and import more" (or something like that). It's certainly true that we can't continue with the model where the US borrows and goes deeply in debt to purchase goods and services provided by the developing world which then saves the money they earn and lends it to the US. That's how we've gotten into the mess we are in.

But I'd like to focus on "saving and investing". It has not been fashionable in this country to be a saver and an investor. It's been more fashionable to be a borrower and spender. Everyone wants to lease a fancy car or take out a big mortgage to buy a big home.

I'd like to see Obama make a big deal about the value of saving and investing. He's got great oratorical skills but he often talks in grand sweeping generalisms, like the "need to change." Well I think its time to get more specific about what needs to change. And if Obama were to start talking about the value of saving and investing every time he makes a speech, I think he could make saving and investing fashionable.

Saving is hard, particularly when you can barely make ends meet. But a "forced savings" plan can work for most people. Many companies do an automatic deduction for a 401k plan. It would be great if you could also do an automatic deduction and send the money to a mutual fund or money market fund. If everyone tried to save 5 to 10 percent of their take home pay, it would make a huge difference.

Investing is also important. Not gambling, not speculating. That is best left to the pros. Investing means taking some risk but not a lot of risk. It means putting money to work in the economy, and not just our economy, but the global economy. Mutual funds are a good way to do this. So are index funds. There are a lot of good places to get sound advice on how to invest wisely and patiently. We need to do more of that in this country.

Saving and investing has been part of the american culture in the past. It is still very much part of the culture among some parts of our citizenship. But too many of us have gone on a borrow and spending binge and it's time to get back to basics. And I'd like to see our President get out in front on this issue and lead the country back to a better way.

Digital Father, Analog Daughter

My daughter Jessica wrote this post on her blog earlier this week. I have spent much of my career investing in the "digital revolution" but I take great pride in the fact that my daughter has the ability to step back and evaluate that revolution on her own terms.

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the return of the polaroid through the eyes of a teenage film photo blogger

October 9, 2009 was the last day that unexpired Polaroid film could be used, marking the end of the film world's instant photography. Just four days later, Polaroid announced that, with the help of the Impossible Project, they would relaunch (for a limited time) the most famous Polaroid instant cameras. Their statement reads:

"Large-scale production and worldwide sale of The Impossible Project's new integral film materials under its own brand will already start in the beginning of 2010 - with a brand new and astonishing black and white Instant Film and the first colour films to follow in the course of the year."

I've been watching the Impossible Project for some time now, and their achievement seems to be a small but significant push back -- like in an arm wrestle, before the back of the losing hand almost hits the table it is clear who has won, even a resistance to defeat is amazing when the winning hand has both strength and gravity on its side. By no means is film going to win, but the supporters can enjoy this achievement for a limited time.

The recent news has influenced me to think about my own photography and how I go about it. Why do I shoot film? For what reason is polaroid so important if what I enjoy most about film is the process? As someone who embraces technology, why am I not conforming to digital photography?

In January I started this blog because after the college applications were done, I was ready to spend my free time doing things I actually enjoy while still reaping the benefits of feeling productive and achieving a goal. I knew that taking photos would be included in this, and I knew that fashion would be a key component. Yet, to this day, I'm not exactly sure what directions this blog could take. When asked currently what exactly my blog is "about," I usually respond: "I post photos that I take and then images that inspire me." This blog has definitely transformed into a photo blog; I've even changed the dimensions to fully accommodate the images.

I know that this particular post does not fit into the realms of this definition of my blog. However, I feel that as a young blogger, completely supporting the technology world and integrated into it, yet still passionate about analog cameras and film, I have a unique view on this film vs. digital argument we have been reading so much about and experiencing these past few years. Whereas my mom and dad will write long blog posts, provoked by something that happened to them that week or something they've read in the newspaper, my best thinking is provoked by images. For the first time in a long time, however, I feel that this recent event is something I want to write about.

For all of you readers who prefer just looking at images, believe me, I understand if you do not want to read this blog post.

I'm often asked, whether its when I load a roll of film, or when a friend opens my fridge to find stacks of film, or when someone asks to "see the picture" I just took and finds a blank back as opposed to a display, why I choose to shoot film. I used to think that, no matter what, film would ensure you a better picture than any digital camera would. Over the years, I have found this to be false. Most professional photographers shoot digital now. The issue is, the price of a digital camera that can give me the results that a film SLR can is astronomical. Also, I love the black and white contrast in film. Still, its not as though my choice to shoot a film is a financially beneficial one. I'm certain that the money I've spent on film and scanning images so frequently has, by now, equaled the amount it would cost me to purchase a beautiful digital SLR that would make my life so much easier. Especially, now, in Middletown, CT, where my friends at photomax 2 (where I can tell anyone to drop off my rolls of film and they'll know that the rolls are mine because I'm the only person who uses 400 Tmax black and white film) are not right down the street, and the local rite aid takes weeks to scan images into grainy awful messes.

from a photoshoot I did with lenora:
a film picture (above) vs a digital picture (below)

Although this might be corny, I still feel the excitement in my stomach when I develop a roll of film. Its surprising, satisfying, and fun all at the same time to see a roll of film that you take. Where does that go when you can look at the back of a camera and see everything?

Then the argument is, why is polaroid so significant? Why do I care so much about the fact that polaroid has been relaunched? There isn't a process...its instant, just like digital. Yes, I can completely appreciate polaroids as an art of randomness, for no one polaroid can be the same. Yet, an expensive art it is. Two dollars for a picture that could come out black? I own a few polaroid cameras, but I never use them.

Maybe I'm excited because it could mean a return of other endangered and extinct types of film. I've learned to love photography in such a rapid time of transition, and as my passion and admiration grows, the types of films available for experimentation shrinks. I cannot tell you the amount of times I've gone to galleries of photo masters and been told that the type of film that these geniuses used is not available any more.

An image from Avedon's series "The American West." Avedon used a Deardorff 8x10 camera
with 8x10 format film for most of career, as did Annie Leibovitz, Helmut Newton, Jim Myers,
Kent Kirkley, Mary Ellen Mark, Larry Fink, and many others.

I often think that I should be taking a different approach. Instead of studying the older masters, think ahead and learn digital photography. Why shouldn't I? I was raised in a house where technology was always important and changing. Looking back, I'm pretty sure I could type before I could write. While my friends were building blocks and playing with dolls, I was playing computer games. I remember instant messaging for the first time with my dad years before any of my friends got an AOL account. While I listen to peers complain about how technology is damaging our generation, I dismiss it, because I can think of ten positive outcomes of technology for each negative one.

As a blogger, all of my images are digital anyway, just scanned from my film negatives. Although I love the darkroom, the convenience and flexibility of working on my laptop are both significant benefits.

It is not just the photography world that is going through this transition.

Print media is dying: magazines are shutting down rapidly. The music industry is in transition as well: how do emerging bands make money anymore when CDs are rarely purchased compared to the illegal downloads online? My uncle, who produces television commercials, has been trying to reshape his business before advertising makes a complete shift to online.

My initial excitement and joy for the return of polaroid has provoked an intense examination of what I plan to do in this time of transition. Instead of the blinded optimism I shared with film lovers that this one more year of polaroid could stop the decline of film, I'm thankful that I can now have a little more time to get acquainted with the rise of digital photography. Who says I can't do both? I'm only 18 years old! Should I really be feeling the melancholy for this decline of an old art medium? Film will forever be my first love, but I have to be realistic.

Cannon EOS 5D, which apparently is the preferred digital SLR amongst
photo bloggers Garance Dore, Scott Schuman, and Craig of Altamira.

This is by far the most I've ever wrote for something that was not school related. There is no conclusion, no answer that I can provide for the sets of questions and concerns I've just thrown out there. I'd like to know how other people feel about this pandemic issue and what other artists, journalists, musicians, etc. are doing about it.

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I've closed the comments on this thread because I'd like Jessica to get all the comments on this post on her blog. If you'd like to comment (via Disqus!) please tell Jessica what you think.

Remembering

Photo from 911photos.com

Longtime readers know that I stood on lower Thompson street that morning with Susan and Enrique and watched the first plane bank and slam right into the north tower. This is what I saw happen. It's a day to remember.

Birthday Challenge Wrapup

As many of you know, I decided to run a Donors Choose Birthday Challenge during the month of August as a way for people to give me a birthday present that mattered to me. We took the widget down yesterday as the month of August is over and we are headed Back To School.

But before leaving the birthday challenge in the memory bank I wanted to do a wrap up and a thank you.

The details of my birthday challenge are here. We raised $3,327 from 39 donors, including my parents. Thank you mom and dad. They've been struggling to give me presents for years and I think they liked this idea even better than I did.

We also ran the top performing birthday challenge of the month as measured by both donations and donors. And we got August to be the second best birthday challenge month of the year so far. A total of $13,070 was raised by various birthday challenges in August. The only month that did better so far this month was May when Stephen Colbert raised over $8000 for his birthday.

I'm pretty impressed with this community that we can do >40% of what the Colbert Nation can do.

So thank all of you who participated in the birthday challenge. We did a good thing. And if you want to do a birthday challenge of your own, click here and set one up. It's a great thing to do.

Some Birthday Wishes

I'm forty-eight today and thought I'd share with you some wishes that will be going through my mind when I blow out the candles on the cake tonight.

1) This guy from IMF is right and that the "global recession is over" and the recovery is under way

2) That we get truly universal health care for all americans this year

3) That we'll see cold fusion become a reality in our lifetime

4)  The IPO market for venture backed companies returns and will be healthy again

5) That we get at least one and ideally two viable mobile OS/app ecosystems other than the iPhone

6) That "TV Everywhere" really means TV everywhere

7) That the NY Knicks, Mets, and Jets start winning again before I give up on them

8) That if you are in a giving mood, you'll contribute to my birthday challenge below:

What Do You Get Him For His Birthday?

I'll be turning 48 in a ten days. I was born on August 20th 1961. It was a good month and has produced one President already.

As I get older, and 48 does seem downright old to me, I've gotten harder to buy presents for. Some claim I'm impossible to buy presents for. That's largely because I don't like presents. At least material presents. I love handwritten notes and home cooked brownies.

But most of all, I like it when people do something nice for others in an effort to be nice to me.

And so this year I've decided to ask people to give to a donors choose project of their choice as a way to send me a birthday present. Fortunately Donors Choose makes it easy to do this. Anyone who wants to do a "birthday challenge" can set one up here. You can "tweet it up", share it on facebook, and put a widget on your blog or myspace page.

I did that yesterday and here is my birthday widget. I'm dedicating this campaign to music education programs in schools that are struggling to make ends meet.

This widget will appear on the right sidebar sometime today and remain there until my birthday ten days from now. So if you want to celebrate 48 years of my time on earth and do something good for kids in public schools at the same time, give something to donors choose. I promise you that it will be a great experience for you and the teachers and students who benefit from your generosity.