My Short Lived Career As A Music Critic
Someone who reads this blog suggested to NY Magazine that they let me be a music critic. They bit and so did I. The punishment was having to listen to Hillary Duff and Avril Lavigne twice each. Hillary was so bad she didn't even make the final cut.
Here's my proverbial 15 minutes as a music critic. I am sorry that you have to page load five times to see the whole thing.
I know I'll offend a ton of people when I say this, but HORRAY for your comments re: Bjork. She's as annoying as Yoko. I also think most people only fake like they like her nonsensical wailing like most fain their affection for fragmented jazz.
She sucks.
I thought you did a great job. I’m sure given the same opportunity I would have been much more brutal and they’d have had to get someone else to fill in at the last minute.
Rock is dead, long live rock!
Posted by: Tony Alva | May 18, 2007 at 08:55 AM
I would have left this alone but I think two important distinctions should be made b/w Bjork and Yoko:
Bjork is a virtuoso creative genius and Yoko is a Duchamp-ian hack
Bjork has united dozens (if not tens of thousands) of creative people to make better art and Yoko broke up the greatest band in world history by acting like an idiot.
Not being down with Bjork is fine, but she's way, way ahead of our time.
I recommend going back and listening to Homogenic, from 1997.
It's the soundtrack to 2007, BELIEVE ME ;-)
Posted by: Ethan Bauley | May 18, 2007 at 02:18 PM
They should've used your Voki instead of that sketch. ;)
Posted by: Jarid | May 18, 2007 at 02:26 PM
I think you did a great job Fred. I like the idea of 3 people reviewing the same thing. Just wish they'de showcase something a little more indie you know?
Posted by: Geoff Hickman | May 19, 2007 at 02:12 AM
I guess I'm in the minority... I like Bjork. My son even made me a T-shirt for my birthday that says: Djork.
I thought you did a great job, thanks for sharing this.
Posted by: Douglas Karr | May 19, 2007 at 10:54 AM
Spoken like a true republican Tony, insult what you don't undersatnd.
I dig Bjork, though I haven't heard the new disc.
The reason why I'm okay with the death of Rock is that there are artists like her pushing the envelope.
You never did enjoy envelope pushers.
Nice job Fred.
Posted by: jackson | May 19, 2007 at 05:04 PM
She is such an easy target...
She is wildly unorthodox. People love her or hate her. There is no middle ground.
T Alva’s observation that " most people only fake like they like her nonsensical wailing like most fain their affection for fragmented jazz" is unfortunate, yet understandable. She is far from mainstream.
I can honestly say that listening to "Post" on headphones changed my life.... OK that’s sounds bad…. I had an unanticipated emotional reaction to that album, and found immense enjoyment in listening to her other efforts. I cannot (and will not) try to validate her as an artist to anyone else (except maybe Jackson... when I made him listen to the Sugarcubes in my car for several hours consecutively... a sure punishment for T. Alva) but to say she is “as annoying as Yoko”…
BTW, T.A., I can think of no better way to invoke full-scale mockery than to respond to this post.. I am no 'faker'.
Hi Fred.
Posted by: milkyum | May 20, 2007 at 05:45 AM
Jackson,
Spoken like a true fake Bjork liker.
Bjork catagorized as "rock" now that's funny... I don't like Saxon either, but I could easily see why one could call what they play rock.
I like rock. Bjork is what you play to coax whales who have mistakenly wandered up river back out to sea.
Posted by: Tony Alva | May 21, 2007 at 09:11 AM
They should play Bjork at Guantanamo. The prisoners would be pleading to give up their secrets just to get away from the torture.
Or blast her music at our borders and it would put an end to the immigration problem.
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Posted by: zhongliu | May 23, 2007 at 04:22 AM